No Rest for the Wicked
by Junkied
Summary: 'Ello, the name's Yanis. Out of boredom, I've decided to take this gal named Haruhi on a little..."adventure", and maybe mess with her lil' pals in the process. Not a good choice really, 'cause now I have both the police and six rich dudes on my tail, but hey, there's nothing like a bit of excitement in our lives, eh? Care to follow us on our not-so-safe trip around the world? OC.
1. Like Father, Like Daughter

**Genre: **Adventure, Friendship  
**Rating: **T for Colorful Language and/or Suggestive Themes  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Ouran Host Club in any way. I do, however, own my OC, Yanis.  
**Note: **Please excuse any improper grammar mistakes. Some are intentional, and some may not be.

* * *

**- Prologue – Like Father, Like Daughter –**

'_Whatever's up for grabs, you take it immediately.'_

Words of wisdom, passed down from Pops to lil' six-year old me. Obviously, when you're that young,_ (or naïve at least) _you like to take everything to heart, and that's exactly what I did. I followed those exact words and took whatever my kiddie-self could get.

Toys? _Mine._

Candy? _Mine._

Pets? _Mine._

Most of the time, all of those things belonged to other people. My neighbors, some of the kids in my class, the lil' convenience store down the block, anyone had something up for the taking. I think…like, once or twice, a few of those things were actually free or something, but that's beside the point.

I took what I could get; I _stole _what I wanted.

And that just brought a helluva lot of trouble for me.

The first time I got caught was by Mommy-Dearest, who was absolutely _livid _when she had to pick me up from the local grocery store due to a call from the Police. Apparently, the security guard caught me stuffing a bunch of stuff in my bag, which consisted of junk food of all sorts, and so I was in his custody until she arrived.

Luckily, the worst she did was ground me from anything sweet for, like, a month. Nothing too bad…I mean, yeah, I was sugar-addicted kiddie back then, but it could have been a whole lot worse.

The second time I was caught, it was by Pops. This time, I had picked the lock of my next-door neighbor's house when she had left to go walk her stupid puffy-poodle dog. Hey, rather than robbery, I liked to call it _revenge, _since that dog never shuts up at night. I swear, I must have missed a year's worth of sleep thanks to that dumb thing.

So imagine the surprised look Pops had when I attempted to sneak back into our house, pockets overflowing with cash I had found in some glass jar the neighbor kept in her living room.

On display.

For everyone to see.

Obviously, she was as stupid as her dog.

Just as I was about to tip-toe up the stairs for my room though, Pops marched up to me with a wide-eyed look, eyes fixated on the greens sticking out of my lil' kiddie-trousers. Honestly, I was so scared, I would have leaked right then and there. _(Thank god I didn't.) _

I expected him to yell at me, or to call Mom and make me apologize to the stupid neighbor when she came back.

Instead, he just smiled and ruffled my hair.

"If you were gonna break in, let me know next time." Pops chuckled, pulling out a key from the breast-pocket of his shirt. "She always has a spare key lying somewhere, up for grabs." He said with a smirk. "Oh, and when did you learn to pick a lock? You weren't exactly sneaky, since I could see you from the dining-room window."

"Cartoons are educational!" Lil' me replied with a giggle. "And why were you watching me? Creeper!"

"Oi, I am not a creeper!" Pops huffed, but the smile was a dead giveaway.

We laughed. It was probably one of the best memories I have ever made in my life.

After that, I grew closer and closer to Pops, straying away from Mom, and continued to take whatever was up for grabs as I grew older and older. It steadily grew from simple things like toys and books to very big things like money and necessities. It got a bit close now and then, but nothing a lil' practice couldn't fix.

It was when I was at the tender age of eleven that I became aware of what I was.

You see, Pops and Mom's relationship was starting to strain, always yelling back and forth about things I never really paid attention to. Mom was overdramatic, and would call him names and practically scream that he was better off living on the streets than a home. Pops would get real mad and say that he hadn't done any real damage here and there, saying that she had no reason to be so upset with him.

A few weeks later, Pops disappeared.

No note, no trace. Nothing, he just went _poof_!

Lil' me searched the house for him, thinking maybe he was just playing hide-and-seek with us or _something _along those lines, but to no avail. I couldn't find him. So I went to Mom and asked her what happened.

"Mama? What happened to Papa?"

"Don't worry about him, sweetie. Papa just left 'cause he's mad."

"Why was he mad?"

"'Cause he's a criminal, and criminals shouldn't be raisin' kids."

"…What's a c-criminal?"

"Criminal's are very bad people, sweetie. They steal things that don't belong to them, kill people that haven't done anything to them. They're very, very bad people."

"…"

Eleven-year old me was speechless. A bad guy? Pops wasn't a bad guy! He didn't steal anything! He just took whatever was up for grabs! It's the owner's fault for leaving it so open! Plus, Pops didn't kill anyone…I don't think he did, really. He was always at home, teaching me fancy tricks and stuff. I loved him.

"…Mom, does that mean I'm a bad person?"

"…"

She never really did answer that question.

Another year passed, and it was spent with only us two. Lil' me expected Pops to come back, to walk in through that door and somehow make it up to Mom, and then go back to being one lil' happy family. He never did, and lil' me got mad.

My relationship with Mom went thin, just like Pops, and we just grew to dislike each other. A lot.

In the end, I left too.

No note, no trace. I went _poof_!

I spent the next six years moving about, doing what I did best. I stole whatever was up for grabs, putting my newfound skills to the test, and learning new ones in the process. It was fun, exciting, _amazing. _That sweet feeling of accomplishment was an everyday-treat for me, and I relished every second of it.

And then!

It got boring.

Staying cooped up in a single city, doing the same tricks over and over on the same faces you saw every day, it just wasn't as exciting anymore when everything was predictable. I wanted a change in pace, a step-up in level, so I went to a different city. It lasted for only a week, and I moved again.

This cycle repeated itself, and many times, I had purposefully slipped up to grab some attention. Everyone needs a lil' excitement in their lives, eh? The police became involved, and a whole new level of fun began.

I always did like chase games.

So I continued doing what I did best; I stole, I pickpocketed, I hid, I fled. It was as easy as one, two, three nowadays, so I had no problem in getting my way around unfamiliar places. It was only after having a close call with the damn police did I finally grow a pair and risk leaving the country.

And thus, I became a criminal, just like Pops.

Like Father, like daughter, eh?

…

Ah, you're probably wondering who I am. Sorry 'bout that.

My name is Yanis, forget surnames and whatnot. I'm presently seventeen, and moving as we speak.

…Destination?

_Japan._

* * *

**Author Note: **So how was it? Too little? Too much? Too awful? I accept any criticism, so long as it's _respectful criticism. _No need to be a whiny brat and flame me in all caps...unless you want to. Any review is fine, actually. XD


	2. Hello Opportunity

_Review Responses_

**TheseCrimsonEyesofMine: **Thank you! And yes, Yanis does have sort of an accent, but it's mostly due to Pops and her boyish-personality. Thieves always gotta be up-to-date with the city slang. XD And I'll try, but no promises. ;w;

**Guest:** Thank you very much! :)

**i'mlovin'it: **Aw, thanks! XD

**Grayson's Gal:** Ah, thank you! Actually, I purposefully didn't describe her physical appearance in the prologue because, in my opinion, a criminal wouldn't just give away their actual appearance. I wanted to hide Yanis's actual appearance for the sake of the Plot. _(I apologize if this does not make any sense.) _An interesting reference, I'll be sure to give it a look when I have the chance. And I have a few ideas for a bit of unrealistic skills...but I'm not sure Yanis would compare to Catwoman. XD Thank you anyways!

**White Fairy Writer:** Thank you!

* * *

**Rating: **T for Colorful Language and/or possible Suggestive Themes.  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Ouran Host Club in any way. I do, however, own my OC, Yanis.  
**Note: **Rushed chapter, so expect lot's of grammatical errors and confusing chapter plot. Also, OOC-ness.

* * *

**- Chapter One – Hello Opportunity –**

'_Ugh, of all the days it had to rain, it just had to be today, huh?'_

Haruhi thought grimly to herself as she quickly paced down the streets, schoolbag held overhead in a futile attempt to shield herself from the downpour Tokyo suffered.

She was definitely going to get scolded by her homeroom Sensei for not being prepared for such predictable weather…and for getting the school uniform soaking-wet.

…Well, at least it wasn't a thunderstorm.

As she hurried, the brunette tried to think of some alternatives. It was still pretty early in the morning, so she had enough time to spare catching a ride or something of the sort.

_Early-bird gets the worm, _as the saying goes.

…Of course, the early-bird wasn't caught in such heavy rain, so she couldn't exactly relate right now.

'_It's too late to call and ask Dad to drop me off at Ouran…' _Haruhi mentally hummed, scrolling down and checking off the options on her little mental list. _'…And at this rate, I won't make it in time if I just run. That's careless too, with this kind of weather. Maybe the public bus could help…oh, but they might be delayed a bit. What if I—'_

Her thought train was caught off as she was suddenly knocked down by a heavy form; stumbling one, two steps back and nearly toppling down to the drenched-pavement, were it not for a hand to shoot out and grab her by the tie in the nick of time.

Brown eyes met bright auburn, and Haruhi found herself blinking at the messy raven-haired stranger before her, surprised for a moment. This person was wearing a tan-colored coat that was obviously too big for their form, and a white undershirt was worn beneath. To add to the odd appearance, they also wore camouflage jeans, combat boots, and a black purse hung limply from their shoulder.

The other seemed to mimic her action and returned the stare.

"…"

Slowly, the stranger tugged, and Haruhi regained her balance, released from the firm grip. A bit embarrassed, the girl hurriedly straightened out her blazer and tie, bowing her head respectfully to the latter.

"_Gomen'nasai, I wa chūi o haratte inakatta*!" _She said.

"…I had no idea what you just said." The stranger sighed in an odd, accented English, hands immediately shoved into the pockets of their coat. "Eh…why the hell am I apologizin'? You Japanese folk probably don't understand me anyhow."

Haruhi's eyebrow twitched. _'Rude.'_

"I can understand English just fine, thank you very much." She grumbled, peeved at such a biased fact. "And I was just apologizing for bumping into you, but I'm considering whether or not to take it back."

An amused smirk stretched across the stranger's lips. "Aw, don't be like that. I'm new here, so cut me some slack."

"I can tell, your accent gives it away. Where are you from? America?"

"Nah, I'm a Babylonian."

"…A what?"

Laughing, the stranger scratched the back of their head. "Nothin', just a lil' joke. Also, I don't think you need to know where I'm from, pretty-boy." A pause. "…Hey, look, we got off on the bad foot. Let's start over and introduce ourselves a bit more politely, eh?"

"Uh…sure, I guess." Haruhi said with a shrug, thoughts of Ouran forgotten momentarily.

"Well then, 'Ello! The name's Yanis; don't bother to ask for a surname, 'cause you ain't gonna get one." Yanis said a bit arrogantly, but smiling nonetheless. "So what's your name, handsome?"

Ignoring the comment, the brunette hesitated. "My name is Fujioka Haruhi…it's uh, nice to meet you, Yanis."

"Wha—? You're name's Fujioka? Weird name"

"N-No! In Japan, surnames go first, so my name is Haruhi."

"Still a weird name." The raven laughed, oblivious to the angry twitch in the girl's eyebrow. "So _this _is the backwards country the city folk* like to talk about, eh?" Auburn eyes drifted upwards to the dark-gray sky, glazed as though thinking.

Haruhi felt a bit awkward, just standing there with an oddly-dressed stranger, getting soaked by the heavy rain. It took her a long, silent moment to finally recall why she was out there in the first place, and she gasped aloud.

"Agh, I'm going to be late!" She cried, brushing past Yanis. "Sorry! Let's talk again another time!"

Moving at full speed, and intent on getting to Ouran on time, Haruhi ran as fast as she could, oblivious to the black smudge on her backside pocket, where her wallet had once been sitting in…

* * *

'_Pfft. Japanese people are weird. Late for this and that…'_

I mentally snickered as I watched Haruhi's form vanish within the mist and fog of the rainy weather. God, this place reminds me too much of Britain, rain and cold and whatnot. At least there, _everyone _understood me, unlike this weird place.

Well, the good thing 'bout Tokyo was that it was practically costume-heaven* here, so I didn't have to worry about conjuring up the perfect disguises. Plus, the owner of one of the shops thought I was an American tourist, so I got a discount on my first purchase.

Lucky me.

…

Okay, so I stole some money at the airport. Hey, it's not _my _fault the lady sitting next to me fell asleep! Her wallet was _begging _for me to take it! It was easier on me too, since I had no idea how to convert money from other countries. I mean, does it _look _like I had the time and patience to go find someone and convert Euros into Yen?

Time is money, eh?

…In the end though, I spent all that hard-earned money on this damn disguise, so I was broke for a short while.

Then!

Lady luck appeared, in the form of a doll-faced guy named Haruhi.

At first, it was going to be the simple pick-pocket routine; ram into the guy, steal his pocket-change, apologize and have a friendly conversation, learn a thing or two, and then be on my merry way. Weird thing is, I couldn't help but feel…I dunno, _reeled in _when I was in his presence.

…No, it was _not _love. Just…ugh, I don't know the word for it.

Look, let's just say it like this; I'm interested. Not in some creepy-perv way, just…amused, really.

I'll be honest here; it was a real downer when Haruhi had to leave for…whatever the hell he was late for. I kind of liked his attitude, and maybe his company too. I mean, do you know how _hard _it is to get some actual sane conversation between a criminal and someone else?

The city folk I've encountered sure as hell weren't sane. Most were drunkards, desperate whiny brats, or just plain quiet people who were paranoid of _everything. _Even the sun.

Vampires, much?

Anyways, I'm ramblin', so back to the present!

When I was sure the lad wouldn't be returning any time soon, I turned and hurried down in the opposite direction, no real destination in mind at the moment. Okay, scratch that, some food would do me some good. I'm sick of eating off of scraps anyways.

I did have some money to spend now, after all, thanks to lil' Haruhi.

Slowing down to a normal, even pace, I entered a more populated street, following some random folk who were strolling through the rain under their lil' umbrellas. People passed me odd looks now and then, but I figured that's because of the disguise.

I'm pretty sure Japanese folk don't wear camouflage for daily wear…I think.

…

Whatever.

Thankfully, just before I was about to deem myself lost, the fresh scent of bread and coffee caught my attention, and led me to what I believed was the café I was searching for. Again, I'm pretty sure Lady Luck has it in for me. Of course, I couldn't help but stare at the reflection in the glass door.

…M-My hair…t-the dye was washing out!

"Aw shit, no!" I cried as I grabbed at my hair. I could have sworn the dye I bought was _permanent! _Damn costume store tricked me! Streaks of black now stained my hands, and you could faintly see the streaks of light-brown sticking out! Oh hey, wait, it kinda looks cool…

I wonder if Haruhi noticed…nah. If he couldn't tell that his wallet was missing by now, I'm pretty sure he didn't notice the dye washing out.

Screw you, rain. Go back to Britain or something.

Attempting to play it off, I wiped my hands on the inside of my coat, thankful that _most _of the black smudges came off, and entered the lil' café. It was neat, but a bit boring. There were hardly any people there, and the cashier didn't seem to be peppy like the other cafés I've been too.

Lame.

Slowly, I walked up to the counter, barely grabbing the employee's attention, and glanced at the menu. I couldn't read a damn thing, but thank god they had pictures besides the list. Ooh~ is that cake? And I definitely smell coffee, so they must have that…

Uh…how do I say coffee and cake in Japanese? Shit…

…

"…_Anata wa nani o chūmon shitai?" _The cashier asked in a bored tone.

"U-Um…just some coffee and cake, is all." I said awkwardly, pulling out Haruhi's wallet and placing a few bills on the counter. The cashier just huffed and rang up the total, handing me back the change as they went to prepare the order. Wow, someone's a bitch today.

I shuffled back to the tables, sitting myself at one, and sighed.

Japan was so _boring! _I mean, when I first arrived, the guards here didn't even bat an eye at me! I'm guessing my fame hasn't spread this far yet, so I'm pretty much safe here, so long as I behaved.

…Ha, as if! That'd be borin'.

But the people here were just…_so damn easy! _They're no different from the city folk*! I mean, at least _give _me a challenge or something entertaining! Ugh, I could probably walk up to a random Japanese gal and say something completely random and rude, and she'd probably think I was trying to say hi or something.

…

Maybe I should try something new…and risky.

I hummed to myself, pondering over the possible things a criminal could get away with. _'Definitely not gonna go for murder…and I'm not sure I could hijack something as big as a plane. Terrorism ain't my style…' _I fiddled around with Haruhi's wallet, looking through her cards and keepsakes.

Card, card, pictures, some lady*, card, ca—Woah, wait a sec…

I pulled out the lil' pink plastic card and stared at it in confusion, furrowing my brows. It was an I.D. card, one that described a _gal _with long brown hair and a baby-doll face.

Specifically, a gal named _Haruhi._

…

I smiled, an idea coming into mind, as well as Pop's words of wisdom.

'_Whatever's up for grabs, you take it immediately.'_

I wonder…does that include _people? _I think I just found myself a fun little challenge!

…

Why is that employee guy staring at me funny?

* * *

**_Gomen'nasai, I wa chūi o haratte inakatta = Sorry, I was not paying attention  
_****___Anata wa nani o chūmon shitai = What would you like to order  
_****___Costume-Heaven = Basically, costume stores, or places that sell a helluva lot of Cosplay  
_****___City Folk = Term Yanis likes to refer to the people of her original hometown  
_****___Some lady = A spare picture of Haruhi's Mother, Kotoko_**

**Author Note:**** Okay, so I may have rushed it a bit. I'm just pouring out my ideas right now, and I'm just desperate to write them all down before they disappear for good. Maybe I'll revise them later, but until then, I'm just gonna focus on the plot direction. Please review! I'd love some ideas for future chapters! Even if it's just to criticize me XD **


	3. All Your Haruhi R Belong to Me

Review Responses

**Guest:** Thank you! And yes, Yanis is Bi, but she won't really focus on it much until later. :)

**Grayson's Gal:** Ah, sorry. DX Thank you though!

* * *

**Rating: **T for Colorful Language and/or Possible Suggestive Themes.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own Ouran Host Club in any way or form. I do, however, own my OC Yanis.  
**Note: **Another rushed chapter. May be several grammatical errors and the like. Will be fixed in the future.

* * *

**- Chapter Two – All Your Haruhi R Belong to Me –**

"Feisty lil' doll, ain't ya?"

I chuckled as I held Haruhi down on the drenched pavement, easily overpowering her struggles. She seemed a bit desperate too; kicking me in not-so-nice places and clawing at my face and screaming her throat out. Lucky me, the rain made a nice coverage, so I doubt anyone would notice unless they were just a few feet from us.

Other than that, we were completely invisible. No sound, no show. Seems simple enough.

…

Ah, I went and gone ahead of myself, didn't I? My bad.

Let's frolic back a few hours then, eh?

So! After having a brain-blast in that lil' café, I must have been smiling real creepy-like or something, 'cause the employee-guy seemed hesitant when he brought me my order. I couldn't tell what he said to me though…damn Japanese and all. I think I scared him…

…Oh well. Not my problem.

Sipping delicately on my coffee, _(I spat it out the first time though; this shit was scorching!) _I continued to play around with Haruhi's wallet. I couldn't believe that _he _was a _she…_okay, so I did pretty much believe he was a dude. A very girly, pretty dude. I let my guard down, is all.

'_Pretty lil' doll-face…' _I hummed at the thought, stabbing at my slice of lemon cake. _'To think I'd come across somethin' as cute as that…I definitely gotta take her before anyone else does.'_

A pause.

'…_Could I get away with it?' _Ah, the golden question of the day! Yanis is betting everything on the line! Will she leave with a pretty lil' gal tonight? Or will she utterly fuck shit up and get sent to jail?! Ladies and Gentlemen, fear the suspense!

…Okay, I'll stop.

Anyhow, I couldn't help but muse over a bunch of options…some of which were purely unadulterated nonsense.

_Follow her home? _Nah, too noticeable.

_Bribe her? _With what? My body? PFFT.

_Call up some dudes from Spain and have them fly over here to do the kidnapping? _Eh…too much work.

_Perform some kamikaze? _Heh…that'd be a nice show, but nah.

_Chase her out with some American pop? _Blech, dumb.

…

'…_Ugh, screw it.' _I mentally grumbled, stabbing the lil' sweet slice of cake and shoving the damn thing in my mouth, chewing ferociously. _(It was a real small piece…like…the size of a cell-phone or something. I dunno.) _I swear, there must be something on my face…that employee dude is _still _staring at me!

Boys, please; I know criminals are the new trend, but seriously. Stop staring.

…

Totally not being a sarcastic brat here. Nope, nu-uh.

I glared at him, and the employee looked away, either embarrassed or too scared to fight me. Hell yeah, I win. Smiling, I took out a few more bills from Haruhi's remaining yen and left it on the table, not bothering to throw out any leftovers or cleaning after myself as I got up to leave.

It ain't my job, so ha.

Stepping happily outside, I was greeted with…rain! That's right, everyone, the rain still lurks in the streets! I panicked for a sec, to be honest, since it was gonna wash out the last of my hair-dye, but I figured I shouldn't bother with it anymore?

I mean, I'm about to have a lil' fun here! Why bother hiding some hair? I could be lying when I say it's my real hair color, so ha. I win again.

…

Back to reality!

I think the coffee had shit-tons of sugar or something…'cause I was literally skipping with joy. The rain didn't seem to bother me, the stares of the few passing Japanese folk didn't bother me…heck, being splashed by those puddles of water by the moving cars didn't bother me either!

I was just so excited to have something _new _to nab~ It's like being a lil' kid all over again!

I stopped in my tracks, eyes wide and smile wiped off clean. '_Being a lil' kid again…that'd be nice.' _I thought with my gaze at the skies, a memory coming into mind.

_{Flashback Time~}_

"Papa! What's that thing under your nose?"

Lil' ten-year old me asked as I followed Pops around the hallway of our lil' cozy home, being that constant lil' kid that always follows you for the dumbest of reasons. Pops didn't seem to mind though as he moved about through the rooms, searching for something I wouldn't really care about.

"It's Papa's moustache, Yo-Yo." He said, using that lil' nickname he stuck on me. How he got that from Yanis, I will never know. They didn't sound anything alike…and it's weird.

"How'd it get there?" I asked, reaching out to try and touch it. Sadly, Pops was around 6'2…and since I was a lil' kiddie…I was only 3'6. Damn you shortness.

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. "Papa's old moustache got taken away, so I got a new one!"

"Eh!? Did you steal it from someone?"

"Yep! Papa saw a nice guy a few days ago, so when Yo-Yo was sleeping, I snuck out and stole it off of his face!"

"Cool! I wanna try!"

"Well, you could always try for lady melons~"

"…Huh?"

_{End Flashback}_

Good times…

…

Eh, don't tell me you were expecting a sad memory…or something _serious _and _heartbreaking._

Pfft, please. Like I'd share any of that to strangers I barely know! Plus, I'm pretty sure nothing too heartfelt happened in my life…it's just plain normal for all I know. Well…as normal as it could get for us criminals.

I could have been worse though; I could be one of them psycho chicks…so yeah.

I put up a goofy smile on my face and continued on my walk, muttering quietly to myself as I had one destination in mind, along with a certain gal.

"_Good times…good times…"_

* * *

"Come on, it's gotta be in here somewhere…"

Haruhi muttered quietly to herself as she dug through her school bag, brows furrowed and eyes panicking about as she searched through its contents.

Her day had gone off pretty fair; She was definitely late for class, and she definitely got a good scolding by the homeroom Sensei for not being properly prepared for worst-case weather.

Then the Hitachiin brothers decided to rub it in her face during the entire period, so she probably missed a few notes or two.

And _then, _Tamaki had the nerve to twirl her around when she came to the Host Club, accidentally throwing her near a table with a convenient little tray of porcelain tea cups, which was then knocked down, shattered, and added to her already-too-big debt.

Yep, this was sort of a normal thing for the brunette.

…If it weren't for the fact her wallet had gone missing.

It's simple math, really. No wallet=No money=No food. In other words, Haruhi was in _big _trouble if she didn't find the thing soon.

"Nee~ Haru-Chan, what happened? Did you forget something?" Honey's sweet little voice pulled her attention away from her bag, and she passed him a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing, Honey-Senpai. I think I dropped my wallet on the way here, but I'll find it eventually." Haruhi said.

"Aw~ we can help you look for it, Haru-Chan!" The senior chirped, holding Usa-chan up in the air as he smiled a big, innocent smile. "Right Takashi?" He added, craning his head a bit to face the other senior.

"Sure." Mori grunted.

"Hey, no fair!" Hikaru huffed from his spot.

"We want to help too!" Kaoru added, mimicking his brother.

"My poor daughter?! Without her wallet?!" Tamaki gasped dramatically, crocodile tears streaming down his face for a split second before he struck a manly pose. "Men! We must conduct an investigation immediately!"

"I thought this was a search, not a murder-scene." Kaoru commented under his breath, earning a snicker from his twin. "If you're serious, than at least act like it Boss. Don't overdo it do."

It was at that moment, Tamaki went to sit in his emo corner.

"Have you tried retracing your steps, Haruhi?" Kyoya suggested, not tearing his gaze away from his laptop as he typed away. "Perhaps you dropped it at some point in time, and it may still be there if you hurry."

"You think I wouldn't know that?" Haruhi grumbled, turning back to dig through her bag again. "I already looked around the campus, Kyoya-Senpai. It wasn't there. Maybe someone took it." She mumbled as she added with a thought. _'I don't see why anyone at Ouran would need a spare wallet though…they're already rich, so why bother?'_

"Oh? Then I supposed you haven't noticed the odd stain on the backside of your pants?" Kyoya hinted.

…

Haruhi slowly turned to his direction, blinking. _Stain? What stain?_

"Oh yeah…now that you mentioned it, there's some faint stain on your pants, Haruhi." Hikaru said calmly, pointing a finger at her.

"Yep. It's as clear as day now." Kaoru said, mimicking.

"Did you sit out in the rain, Haru-Chan? Maybe some paint?" Honey asked innocently.

"Ya." Mori said.

"What?! Let me see!" Tamaki cried from his corner as he rushed to the brunette's side in a flash, eyes locked onto the dark stain on Haruhi's backside.

"Oho~ seems the Boss has an excuse to look at Haruhi's behind!" The twins mocked from their spot. "_Hentai!_ _Hentai! Hentai!"_ They chanted.

Tamaki gaped. "I-I AM DOING NO SUCH THING!"

As the three of them started a verbal war, Haruhi stood up and walked to one of the nearby mirrors, turning and examining herself. Sure enough, there was a stain on her bottom, too dark to be just water. Maybe paint or dye or something. Someone probably spilled something on her seat or…

…

Hold on, her wallet used to be in the backside pocket.

And there was a stain _right _there.

…

"I got it." She said aloud, snapping her fingers. Everyone looked at her, confused. "I sat on a seat full of paint in art class, and my wallet must have stuck to it and slipped out of my pocket." She deduced.

The hosts just stared at her.

"…I-I don't think that's it, Haruhi." Hikaru stammered.

"Yeah, wouldn't your entire backside be covered in paint then?" Kaoru added.

"It's just a stain." Mori stated.

"Ah…well…" Haruhi hummed, trying to rack her brain for more clues and answers. _If it wasn't class…and it's not on campus anymore…where could it be?_

"You were pretty late this morning." The twins brought up. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing much…" She said calmly. "The weather was pretty bad, so it sort of slowed me down. I was thinking of catching a bus, but they were delayed, so I didn't. Oh, and I did run into this one guy, and we talked for a few minutes, but nothing e—" She stopped, eyes widening.

"Did you remember something?" Honey asked.

"_Yanis._" Haruhi mumbled under her breath. "I ran into this guy this morning…no wait, this guy ran into _me, _and nearly knocked me down. He was really odd-looking, and he doesn't sound like he's from Japan either." She explained. "I bet my wallet fell when we bumped into each other."

"Who is this Yanis character?!" Tamaki hissed. "Tell me! I will make him pay for ramming into my daughter like that! Has he no shame or manners?! Come on, spill it! Who is he!?" He screeched.

"You still have some time left before the club opens, Haruhi." Kyoya said calmly. "I'm sure you could sort this problem out by then, yes?"

"Yeah, thanks guys. I'll be back soon." Haruhi said with a thankful nod, hurrying out of the room whilst ignoring Tamaki's angry shouts. "Watch my stuff until I get back!" She called out just before she was gone.

"…That was pretty nice of you, Kyoya-Senpai." The twins commented as they held their blonde king down.

"Well, it was only natural I let her go. If she was too occupied with the whereabouts of her wallet, she would be doing a poor job in hosting." The shadow king replied simply.

"Of course…" Everyone else muttered, sweat-dropping.

* * *

Orange eyes gazed blankly at the grey heavens above, blinking away the water that dared to fall down. Yanis had been standing at the very spot she had met Haruhi for the time being, pondering. So many things could go wrong, so many unexpected events could take place, but it'd be all worth it.

Anything up for grabs is worth the trouble.

The rain only seemed to pound down on Tokyo harder, showing no mercy. People were desperate for shelter now, and very, _very _few people had passed the criminal-in-hiding, let alone be _seen _by her line of sight. The mist made sure to obscure her vision.

"Hn…I should have followed the gal home or somethin'…" She muttered, scratching the back of her head, not surprised in the least to find more splotches of dye on her fingertips. "It'd be a bit more fun…I hate waitin'."

As though staged, a silhouette formed in the distance, catching Yanis's attention. It grew closer and closer, taking the shape of a person, and colors could be faintly seen throughout the mist. Lavender and brown…

"Doll-face!" The criminal chirped happily as Haruhi glided to her side, bending over a bit to catch her breath. She did just run a good mile away from Ouran, after all, and she was _definitely _not the athletic type. Books were better in the brunette's opinion.

"H-Hey Yanis-San…" Haruhi panted, switching to English. "D-Did you stay h-here after I l-left?"

"…Huh? Nah. I went to a nice lil' café a few blocks back." The fake raven chuckled, waving a hand around. "The employee-dude there was real weird though…probably scared of a lil' outsider."

"Well, you do give weird first impressions…it wouldn't be surprising if people here got the wrong idea." The latter chuckled, pushing strands of wet-brown hair out of her face.

"I do not." Yanis pouted. "You Japanese folk just can't wrap your backward mind around my awesome being."

"…You sound like one of those arrogant anime characters Renge makes me watch."

"I'mma take that as a compliment."

Haruhi looked around on the ground, praying to find her wallet soon. Yanis stood there with a faint smile, playing the innocent bystander. After a moment of silence, the criminal broke the silence.

"Aren't you supposed to be at…I dunno, school, doll-face?" She asked.

"Yeah, but I'm part of a club, so I get some periods off thanks to one of my friends." Haruhi said calmly, oblivious.

"Then why'd you come back here? Smart people should be doing smart things."

"I lost my wallet, and I think it fell out when you bumped into me. Did you see it?"

"Hm~" Yanis hummed, placing a hand beneath her chin. "…Can't say I have, doll-face." There was a pause. "…Unless you're talkin' 'bout _this _wallet." She said as she pulled out the familiar object from her pocket, waving it around in the air.

Haruhi beamed.

"Yes! Thank you." She said with relief as she plucked it out of the other's hand and pocketed it. "Where'd you find it? Don't tell me you picked it up after I was gone."

"Pfft. You wish." The raven snickered. "You really wanna know?"

"Y-Yes, if that's alright."

Yanis leaned in and whispered, though a bit loudly thanks to the pelting of the rain.

"_I stole it from ya, doll-face."_

In the blink of an eye, the criminal grabbed the girl's tie, and pulled her close, smashing her lips straight into Haruhi's without hesitation. The brunette's eyes widened as she processed what was happening, and so to rebel, she swung a wild punch.

It hit the latter straight in the face.

"OW!" Yanis cried, stumbling back. Haruhi attempted to turn and make a run for it, but she was immediately tackled down to the ground by the raven. "Feisty lil' doll, ain't ya?" She chuckled as the brunette struggled desperately, kicking, screaming, anything!

No one heard her though.

No one saw her.

They were hidden; and she was alone.

With a crazy person.

"Aw, don't be like that, Haruhi~" Yanis hummed, one hand sliding to the purse that hung from her shoulders. "You're only makin' it harder for lil' you."

'_Oh god, I'm going to be raped!' _Was the first panicked thought the student had, and she screamed louder, clawing at Yanis's face with her nails. Though she hit her target many times, it hadn't released her from the iron grip.

"Calm the hell down!" The criminal hissed, pulling out something shiny. "I ain't gonna rape ya, if that's what you're thinkin'. In case you haven't noticed yet, I'm a gal too." She grumbled.

"What the hell was that kiss for then!?" Haruhi asked, angry and frightened as her eyes flickered to the object in Yanis's hands; _a handgun. _"Oh my god, you're going to kill me!?"

"Uh…I dunno. Spur of the moment thing." Yanis said nonchalantly, still smiling. "And nope! I ain't gonna kill you, doll-face. I just always wanted to do this when I was a lil' kiddie."

And before she had time to respond, Yanis slammed the butt of the handgun hard on Haruhi's forehead, effectively knocking her out. The brunette slumped, silent.

"_Oh my god, you're going to kill me?" _The raven sang in a fake, girly voice before laughing. "I ain't a murderer, doll-face. It ain't even a real gun either! I bought it from the costume store! Looks real though…and it sure is heavy like the real deal." She mused aloud, fiddling with the object before tossing it aside. "Oh well! No use for it anymore!"

With an innocent grin, Yanis began to carefully go through Haruhi's pockets, searching. "Sorry gal, but I'mma need to borrow a lil' somethin'." She chirped as she pulled out a red object; a cell-phone. Flipping it open, the criminal frowned when she was met with nothing but Japanese characters.

"…Maybe I should have kept you awake to translate this…" She muttered, fiddling around once again until she pressed one of the selections, and the icon of a phone appeared, as well as the dial tone playing aloud. A smile. "Hell yeah! I did it!"

…One ring.

…Two…

Th—

"_Yes, Haruhi?" _A calm, cool voice spoke in Japanese.

"Oi. Speak English." Yanis growled. She had enough language-barriers for today.

"…Who is this? How did you acquire my friend's phone?" The voice asked skeptically, and in accented English.

"You're Mom." The raven replied immediately. "And it's not important."

"I demand an explanation."

"Aw~ don't be such a sourpuss on me. If you _really _wanna know, I knocked your lil friend out and took her phone from there. Good enough?"

"I will ask you again; _Who are you_?"

"The name's Yanis, my good chum! Don't bother askin' for a surname, 'cause you ain't gonna get one!"

"Well then, _Yanis, _I do hope you know I am from the Ootori family, and my private police are at my command. I could have you arrested within eleven minutes flat at this very moment."

"Ooh! I'm _so _scared! Nah, not really. Your name is stupid, by the way."

"…"

"Anyhow~ I just wanted to pass on a lil' message before I go~"

"And that would be…?"

Yanis smirked.

"_All your Haruhi r belong to me!"_

And with that, she hung up.

* * *

**Author Note: Ah, sorry, sorry, I know the chapters are sort of confusing, but I said this before; I'm just posting up the ideas before I fix them. I'm one of those people who get inspired easily, but forgets it within a few minutes. It's like a whim thing...I dunno.**

**Review plz?**


	4. No Promises

Review Responses

**Psyka:** Thank you! :)

**fanOC: **Ah...well, honestly speaking, Yanis was the name of one of the characters I had named in an RPG game...and I thought 'why not use it?'. Really though, it was just a random name. XD

**Sholenm: **Thank ya very much, stranger. Here ya go. :)

* * *

**Rating: **T for Colorful Language and/or possibly Suggestive Themes.  
**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Ouran High School Host Club. I do, however, own my OC Yanis.  
**Note: **By this point, every chapter I will upload will be considered rush. XD Per usual, may contain grammatical errors and yada-yada.

* * *

**- Chapter 3 – No Promises –**

When Haruhi first came to, the first thing she recognized was the sharp stench of alcohol, and she scrunched her nose up in disgust.

'_Dad got drunk again, didn't he?' _She mentally grimaced. _'I should probably get up and make breakfast…and maybe get some aspirin for him.'_ A pause. _'…My head hurts. Did Kyoya-Senpai lecture me again?' _A groan left her lips at the possibility.

"…Eh? Finally awake, girl?" An unfamiliar voice huffed in rusted English. "It's about time. I was getting tired of keeping you here any longer."

Confused, the brunette cracked an eye open, immediately regretting her choice when she was blinded by the brightness of the room. All she could make out were unfamiliar blobs of yellow, orange, and brown. Another groan, and Haruhi felt something damp and cool dab at her forehead.

"Still out of it, huh? No worries, you're friend should be back soon. Had an errand to run, she said." The same voice mumbled, adding an audible sigh. "The young are always up to no good, of course."

"What are you…talking about?" Haruhi slurred, English poor for a moment as she attempted to swat the damp object away from her aching for head.

_Clink._

…

The girl slowly turned her head towards the source of the noise, wondering what could have possibly held her arm back, and gasped sharply. A pair of handcuffs had been clamped around her wrist, bounding her to the end of what looked like a bed-frame. But how…?

"All you young kids are always desperate for cover!" The voice rambled on beside her. "Heck, I bet your little friend killed someone, and she's just using you as a scapegoat! Ah, but she got some good pockets, I tell ya that, so that's real unfortunate for ya."

'…_Friend? What…' _Haruhi's mind began to process the information, any remnants of sleep vanishing instantly as her brown eyes widened at the realization. _'Oh god, Yanis!'_

Inhaling deeply, the girl let out a deafening scream of terror, praying that someone, _anyone _would hear her. Even Tamaki-Senpai!

"AGH! SHUT THE HELL UP!" The voice spat as a hand grabbed Haruhi's chin, forced her to look to the other direction, and something _sharp _and _shiny _was pointed straight at her face. Holding the object was a woman with long red hair and black-rimmed blue eyes, which held a glint of irritation.

Haruhi fell silent, staring fearfully at the knife that was mere inches from her own nose.

The mysterious woman smiled. "Much better. Ya may be small, but _damn _ya got lungs. Makes ya a good screamer in the night-life, eh?" She waggled her brows.

"W-Where am I?!" The poor brunette cried. "W-Why am I here!?"

The latter chuckled, pulling the knife back. Just a little bit. "Ah, well, you're still in Tokyo, if that's what you're wondering about. Your friend needed a place to stay, a nice warm bed, and some food for a few days, and I offered her a spot at my apartment, but it ain't for free, of course. Paid me a nice little sum to keep you in good condition, she did."

"We are _not _friends!" Haruhi said frantically. "That…t-that _freak _just came out of nowhere and knocked me out! I think she kidnapped me, miss!"

The woman snorted. "Sorry kid, but it's not my problem. Like I said, that _'freak' _had some good pockets, and she paid me to not only to let the two of ya stay, but to also keep my mouth shut and pretend I never once met ya. Silence ain't free."

Any hope Haruhi had crumbled away. _She was doomed._

Suddenly, there was a frantic knocking in the distance, and a muffled _'open the hell up'_. The red-haired woman sighed and placed the knife away, yelling a loud _"Coming!" _as she left Haruhi's side. Said girl began to struggle, sitting up and attempting to pull at the handcuffs, praying the chain would break as soon as possible.

There was a faint conversation in the background, and she could hear a door open and a pair of footsteps, which frightened Haruhi even more. She tugged, and tugged, _and tugged, _but the handcuffs prevailed.

"By God, doll-face, you wanna get away _that badly?_" That all-too-familiar voice chuckled as a pair of arms suddenly snaked around her stomach. "You're only makin' me want ya even more~"

Shrieking in terror, Haruhi slammed her head back as hard as she could, wincing when it made contact with her captor's face. Great, now her head felt like it would explode…

"ACK!" Yanis barked, pulling away immediately as she rubbed at her mouth, spitting out a tooth. She stared at the object before smiling, one of her front teeth now missing. "Feisty lil' puppy, eh? _Me gusta._" She snickered.

Haruhi spun around to slap the damn freak with her other hand, which thankfully _wasn't _bound by a pair of handcuffs, but froze. Yanis was…different now, appearance-wise. Her hair wasn't that same raven-color anymore, but now a deep brown, similar to her own hair. Her eyes weren't orange, and were now a golden-yellow, sharp and cold. The clothes she had been wearing previously had been replaced with a gray vest, navy-blue t-shirt, black jeans, and a pair of knee-high sneakers.

Yanis waggled her eyebrows. "Like what ya see?"

Snapping out of her stupor, the bounded-brunette carried on with her action, slapping the other with as much force as she could muster. What Haruhi didn't expect, however, was for the fake-brunette to suddenly frown and punch her straight in the gut, earning a pained gasp.

"Alright doll-face, ya had your fun attackin' me, but I think now's the time ya stop." Yanis grumbled. "I'm serious too, ya know. Those scratches ya gave me were a bitch to cover, and I'd be glad to repay the damage in full, but I'mma be nice and let ya off if ya just calm your tits."

"How the hell am I supposed to just _'calm down'_!?" Haruhi yelled angrily. "You just suddenly appear, kiss me, knock me out, kidnap me, and you expect me to just _calm down_!?"

"Yep! 'Cause if ya don't, _I'll kill ya right now._"

To prove her point, Yanis swiftly grabbed the knife the mysterious red-headed woman had placed down, twirling it between her fingers before aiming it down and swung her arm up, grinning wickedly. Haruhi blinked, frozen in place, but her lips moved before she could even process the situation.

"You won't kill me." She said.

Her captor blinked right back, grin wiped off.

"Y-You said you wouldn't kill me…w-when you took out that gun. If you were going to really kill me, you would have done it by now…right?" Haruhi stated as calmly as possible.

…

"Welp, that plan failed." The criminal said nonchalantly, tossing the knife aside. "I was sorta hopin' to scare ya to do what I say, but I guess that ain't gonna happen. Hm~" She leaned in closer to the other's face, smiling as she purred. "Maybe I 'oughta _seduce _ya to do what I say?"

"Oh my god, you sound like the twins." Haruhi blurted.

"…Twins?"

Realizing her mistake, the brunette stayed silent.

"That reminds me, doll-face! Who's this Ootori-dude? I gave him a call a few days ago, and he said he got himself a private police or somethin'. By the way, does everyone in Japan have a dumb name? Who the hell names their kid _Ootori?" _Yanis rambled.

A spark of hope returned to the imprisoned girl. _'Kyoya-Senpai! Thank god he's on my side…I hope.'_

…Wait…a few days?

"How long was I out!?"

"Eh…about a day and a half actually. Guess I gave ya a good knock on the head."

They stared at each other, the atmosphere slowly growing tenser with each passing second. Yanis looked like she didn't have a worry in the world, while Haruhi continued to frantically think of a means of escape.

_Scream? _She already did that.

_Fight? _How? She barely knew any self-defense moves. Maybe if she gets out of this alive, she'll take up on Mori-Senpai and Honey-Senpai's offer for Kendo…

_Beg? _Logical, but she doubted that'd work on someone like Yanis.

"Oh yeah…I also bought ya some stuff." Her captor hummed as she craned her head to the side. "Oi! _Signorina! _Can ya pass me the bags I brought in?" She called.

'…_Signorina?' _Haruhi thought, puzzled. _'Isn't that Italian?'_

"Yeah, yeah, here." The red-headed woman grumbled as she walked over and handed Yanis several white bags, most of which were bulging with goods. "I'm only doing this for the money."

"Of course." The fake-brunette replied, setting most of them down before digging through one of them. "I'll pay ya before we leave. Promise." When the stranger left, she pulled out a bag of…melon-flavored snacks? "Here ya go, doll-face. Thought ya might be hungry, and I don't think the lady here can cook." She said as she plopped the bag down on the bed.

"…Huh?" Haruhi said lamely, confused once again.

"I also bought ya some fresh clothes, since you've been wearin' a drenched uniform for two and a half days now. No worries, I wouldn't dare to dress ya up in girly clothes." Yanis continued as she grabbed another bag, pulling out a white t-shirt, blue jacket, tan jeans, and a pair of sneakers. "They'll fit, 'cause while you were out like a light, I snuck a peek at the tags on your stuff."

…

Yanis then pulled out a white bra and some pink underwear. "And yep, I went this far."

For the second time that day, Haruhi slapped the criminal with her free hand, pink-faced and trying hard to ignore the snickering of the red-headed woman across the room.

"…I'mma let that slide, since I pretty much deserved that."

* * *

Kyoya cursed under his breath as he slammed his cell-phone shut, annoyed that his police force has _still _yet to find the location of this…_Yanis-_person and Haruhi. Every little second that passed by meant one step farther he grew from getting her back.

Not to mention another second of listening to Ranka and Tamaki wailing about their lost daughter.

"MY POOR BABY GIRL!" Ranka cried, pulling at his hair. "What am I to do!? Oh, Kotoko must be _furious _with me for not watching over Haruhi! What kind of father am I!?"

"HARUUHHIII!" Tamaki mimicked the latter and tugged at his golden locks. "DADDY WILL FIND YOU, I PROMISE! JUST BE SAFE, WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

"Boss, calm down!" The twins yelled as they patted the blonde's back, attempting to quiet him down. The landlady threatened to kick them out if they continued to disturb the other occupants of the apartment complex. Thankfully, they had enough money to spare for compensation, should their idiotic leader break anymore glass windows with his _(girly) _wailing.

"Nee~ Kyo-Chan…" Honey said, skipping up to the 2nd year and tugging at his uniform. "Did you find anything out about this meanie Yanis? Is Haru-Chan in danger?"

"I did indeed do some research on this _Yanis _person, Honey-Senpai." Kyoya said as he flipped open his notebook and glanced at its contents for a split second. "…Though, even my finest sources could not gather as much as I had hoped for." He grumbled.

"That's okay! Any little bit of information can help us!" The third-year chirped reassuringly.

Nodding, the raven-haired teen continued on. "Yes…well, the last current description I had found described Yanis to be a seventeen-year old male with short-white hair, most likely bleached, and green eyes, presumably contacts. He had been last seen wearing a red athletic jumpsuit, fleeing from a local pawnshop with a fair amount of stolen goods in Canada." He stated.

"Eh? So we're looking for a guy with white hair, green eyes, and wearing a jumpsuit?" Honey asked innocently.

Kyoya shook his head. "It is not as simple as it sounds. This description had last been reported almost a year ago, and knowing criminals, they are usually one step ahead of the game. There is no doubt Yanis could have changed his appearance to fit in Japan."

The smile on the smaller blonde's face fell instantly.

"…S-So, we might never find him and Haru-Chan?"

"Well…all we would have to do is wait until someone sees them together, and we'll know exactly what he looks like after that. I recommend that, while my private police is doing their investigations, we also conduct our own search as well. It might save us time."

Before Honey could even respond to the suggestion, Tamaki suddenly tore away from the Hitachiin twins and flew straight to Kyoya, grabbing his shoulders and frantically shouting.

"MOMMY! TELL DADDY EVERYTHING YOU KNOW! TELL ME! MY DAUGHTER IS IN DANGER! I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS CROOK!"

Ranka then intervened and punched the blonde into a nearby wall, giving Kyoya his innocent smile.

"Oh Kyoya, forget about your idiotic friend! Why don't you tell _me _who this _criminal _is, hm? I would do a much better job at searching for _my _daughter then this _bug _could!"

Unfazed, the Shadow king simply sighed. "How about I tell you _both _the details of this person?"

Tamaki reappeared, and the two eager males nodded.

"Alright then. From the last description, Yanis was last seen as a seventeen-year old male with white hair, green eyes, and wearing a red jumpsuit. His height is predicted to be around 5'9, and estimated weight is to be around 120lbs. His accent is varied, possibly switching back and forth, and is known to be sarcastic, manipulative, stubborn, aggressive…" Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "…shall I continue?"

"I think we get the idea, Kyoya-Senpai." Hikaru said, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, so this Yanis-dude is just one big bad guy, huh?" Hikaru hummed, mimicking his twin.

"HE WILL PAY FOR EVEN LOOKING AT MY DAUGHTER!" Tamaki growled, only for Ranka to shove him away with an absolutely-murderous look.

"NO, I WILL MAKE HIM PAY FOR LAYING A FINGER ON MY DEAR HARUHI!" The transvestite seethed.

"We'll teach him a lesson too! Right Takashi?" Honey chirped, smiling thinly at his cousin.

"Ya." Mori grunted, though he had a darker blank expression than ever.

"We'll help too!" The twins said, fists raised into the air. "No one gets away for messing with our toy!"

Kyoya glanced at the lot, nodding. "I see we are all on the same page then. My force has yet to come back with any useful information, so until then, why don't we all go to the last place Haruhi had been?"

Everyone tilted their heads to the side. "Which is…?"

The Shadow king smiled thinly.

"Isn't it obvious? The last place I had received a call from Haruhi's cell-phone; the call from _Yanis _himself."

* * *

"…You done yet?"

"No!"

"…How 'bout now?"

"I said no!"

"…Okay…how 'bout now?"

"SHUT UP!" Haruhi screamed from the bathroom, muffled behind the door and the sound of the running shower. After a nice slap to the face and another persuasive conversation, I had allowed the gal to take a nice warm rinse in the bath, and I needn't worry, for the only window in there was _way _too small for her to fit through.

…Not to mention with the threat I'd beat her into oblivion if she tried anything funny. Hey, I ain't a murderer, but I ain't afraid to use force. Gotta be intimidating in the slums, ya know?

As another precaution, I had taken her dirty clothes, cell-phone, and any other personal belonging and threw them into my brand-new backpack, which I had also bought from the local shops here in the city. Japanese folk sure got a lot of cheap stuff, which was good, since I gotta save up most of the scores I made through pick-pocketing had to go to red-head.

Most likely to be spent on more cigarettes and beer.

…

Not that I can blame her. Poor gal lived alone. Gotta get _some _form of comfort, right?

Now here I was, standing outside the bathroom door with Haruhi's new set of clothes, the same pair of handcuffs I had used to bind her to the bed while I was out, and some extra accessories. Hey, I gotta disguise her somehow too if I wanted to get away with all of this.

Paranoia's a bitch.

My thoughts drifted around, some about the current predicament I had just thrown myself into, some on the past, and some just completely random.

_Meh…I wonder what Japanese folk watch on TV._

_Did the Ootori kid take me seriously? I still haven't been spotted yet…_

_Pops would probably be proud at how far I'm taking this…Like father, like daughter._

_Haruhi needs to get laid or something._

…

_Did I really just think that?_

The noisy shower suddenly went silent, and the door beside me cracked open just a tiny bit as Haruhi stuck her hand out in a demanding gesture. Smirking, I gave her a hi-five with my free hand.

"J-Just give me my clothes!" She said.

"Aw~ can't take a joke?" I laughed as I handed her said items, twirling the handcuffs around as she slammed the door shut. It was fairly silent for another moment, and finally, the gal reluctantly opened the door, revealing her new appearance.

The blue jacket was open, revealing the white t-shirt beneath, and went well with the tan-colored jeans and sneakers. I had also given the brunette a nice lil' fedora, which was expensive mind you, and a few multi-colored lanyards that hung off of her waist. I even gave her some silly bands, 'cause…I dunno. Bored.

All in all, I guess I did alright in the fashion sense…in my opinion.

"Enjoyed the shower?" I asked as I immediately grabbed her wrist and locked one handcuff onto it, then locked the other to my own. "Glad you didn't try to run on me, doll-face~"

Haruhi just grumbled. "I'm only complying because you threatened me. Besides, I you won't hide forever. My friends will definitely find me soon, and when they do, you're dead." She said confidently.

"What, no thank you?" I pouted. "I'm trying to be _nice _to my lil' pearl! Usually, us criminals would just knock ya out again and again 'til ya had brain damage, or drug ya and then leave ya to die on the outskirts of the city. At least be grateful I'm allowin' ya a shower and a meal!" I said.

The gal just glared at me with a helluva lot of hatred.

"Look, I ain't gonna let ya go, but if it makes ya feel better, I'll answer any questions ya got for me during lunch, alright doll-face?" I sighed, running my free hand through my newly-dyed hair. Black was so yesterday.

"…Fine." She mumbled.

"Yay~" I hummed, dragging her down the small hallway of red-head's apartment and into the kitchen, where red-head herself was happily drinking herself to death with beer. Haruhi's nose scrunched up at the foul smell of the alcohol, but I felt perfectly fine. Years sleeping near drunken beggars has its benefits, I guess.

"Like I said before, red-head can't cook." I said as I pulled the gal towards the load of bags I had brought back from my shopping spree. "That's why I bought us some foods and snacks. Hope ya don't mind."

She was silent.

"Uh…ya want instant ramen or bag of…whatever?" I asked, rummaging through the contents.

"…Ramen, please." Haruhi murmured, and I nodded.

"Alrighty then, better eat it up. It's gonna have to last 'till our next stop." I said as I dragged her to the kitchen counter, filled the cup-thing with water, and placed it in red-head's microwave for a minute. I don't know how to cook the thing, so I'm just doing whatever.

Criminals don't exactly cook for themselves, you know.

"_Bien!_ So whaddya wanna know?" I sang as we waited, leaning back on the counter and tilting my head to the side. "Ask away, my dear doll-face, and be amazed by the great and powerful Yo-Yo!"

She blinked. _'Bien is French…what the heck is she? And why Yo-Yo?'_

"If you're wondering, it's just a lil' nickname that stuck with me when I was a kiddie."

"Oh…well uh, why are you doing this? Ransom?"

I stared at her, furrowing my brow.

"Huh? Ransom?! Nah, of course not! I don't take things just to give it back in the end, ya know. 'Cept for money, 'cause I see no point in keepin' it."

"Then why did you kidnap me!?"

"'Dunno. I was just gonna steal your wallet and be on my merry way, but _nooo, _you just _had _to interest me in some way, eh? Heck, when I found out you were a gal, I wanted nothing more but to steal ya away before anyone else could! I mean, you're like a diamond in the rough, doll-face!"

"Then why did you call Kyo—I mean, _Ootori_?"

"Bored. I only came to Japan to get a change in pace. Europe's awfully borin' when ya do the same crap over and over, ya know? I need a challenge, _an adventure_! And by the looks of it, so do you."

"No I don't! I'm perfectly fine with my life!"

"Eh…that's what they all say, doll-face, but we could all use some excitement now and then."

"Wait, will you _ever _let me go?"

"Hm~ tough question. I choose to skip."

"No way! Answer me!"

"Fine! I'll let ya go when I'm done, okay? But until then, I promise I'll make it worth your while!"

"And how do you intend to do that!?"

"By givin' ya the time of your life! Duh! And yes, I can guarantee your safety."

Haruhi fell silent, and the microwave _pinged. _Perfect. Taking out the steamy-hot food, the gal didn't seem to notice me drop two little things into her food, just before I handed it to her.

"Here ya go~ fresh and tasty." I hummed, pulling out a packet of chopsticks from my pocket and handed that over as well. "I dunno how you Japanese folk eat your food, so there."

She continued to glare at me, but ate the food in silence. Satisfied, I averted my gaze somewhere else, not really thinking of anything particular at the moment as I waited for her to finish.

"…Your…not going to eat?" Haruhi asked, hushed.

"Nope." I replied, popping the p. "I don't eat much, not anymore. I figured most of the food 'oughta be saved for my guest, eh? I did promise to keep ya safe."

"What could you possibly gain from this though? Satisfaction? Thrill?"

I glanced at her and smiled.

"C'mon doll-face, does it really matter? If ya play along, I promise it'll be worth it in the end, and when we're done, I'll let ya off for free. Heck, I'll even let ya decide my punishment in the end, so shush and eat."

So she did, and without a glare this time too.

It probably took her…what, maybe ten minutes for her to eat? It was sunset by then, _(Haruhi had woken up late. Whoops.) _so I decided it was best if we get a move on now. I spent another fifteen minutes cramming anything I bought into my brand new backpack, and then an additional five minutes sorting out the expenses of our stay at red-head's place.

It was then, Haruhi suddenly began to sway.

"Y-Yanis…I don't f-f-feel…g-good…" She slurred, rubbing her head.

I smiled innocently. "Hm? Oh yeah, forgot to tell ya; I put some sleepy-pills in your food."

Blinking, she tried to muster an angry look, and failed. "W-Why?"

"Precaution." I replied with a shrug. "I don't know if I can trust ya to keep quiet and listen yet, ya know? Just sleep, doll-face, I promise things are gonna get a lot more fun when ya wake up, okay? I'll protect ya until then."

She looked like she was going to protest, but her eyes had already began to droop downwards, and I quickly laid her down on the ground, just before she went into sleepy-land. Okay, I feel bad for knocking her out again, but like I said before, Paranoia's a bitch.

I brushed a strand of her hair back and grumbled under my breath.

"I lied; no promises."

* * *

**Author Note: Okay, so for those who didn't get it, the ending basically states that Yanis MAY OR MAY NOT be able to guarantee Haruhi's safety. A criminal always thinks of themselves first, no? ;)****  
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